One Defining Picture

As most parents do, we took hundreds of pictures while we were in the hospital having our second baby.  Our pictures this time weren’t all happy and beaming faces as they were when our first baby was born.  Oh, we have plenty of those, but many of our pictures this time included wires, tubes, monitors, bandages and scars. 

This one picture is worth a thousand emotions for me.  It’s not the clearest picture.  It’s a little grainy and a little hazy, but I think it’s beautiful and perfect.  It was a split second that was captured by my husband during our two week stay in the EOPC (NICU).  It was a split second that completely defines the following 18 months for me.  When I look at this picture, I once again feel the roller coaster of emotions that encompassed those two weeks and the following months.

When I look at this picture, every fiber of my being wants to reach into that picture and hug her.  I want to tell her that her baby, whose side she rarely left during that time, will be fine.  I want to tell her that he will thrive, that he will laugh and be rotten, that he will crawl, that he will stand and that yes, he will eventually walk.  But I’m glad I can’t reach through that picture and tell her those things.  I’m glad because she has no idea how much she will change in the next 18 months because of him.  She has no idea how much she will grow and how she will attempt and accomplish goals and dreams she thought were long gone.  She has no clue of the people she will meet along the way, people who have experienced similar journeys but some whose stories ended differently.  Stories that ended with unimaginable grief and loss.  She has no idea how much she will learn from these wonderful people, although she’s only known them a short time. 

So this is my picture I want to share.  A picture that means the world to me. 

Details may or may not come later of this continuing journey.  If I feel froggy, you may get more details than you can handle.  If my schedule continues the way it has for the past year, this may be the only thing you ever see from me.  But whichever way it plays out, this is me, in my crazy nutshell.